El Show De Bernie Novelty Sweater
This hoodie exists for one reason: you put it on once, and suddenly every other hoodie you own feels like a mistake. It’s the one you grab without thinking, the one you “accidentally” sleep in, the one that somehow follows you from the couch to the car to the store like it pays rent. Made with a soft airlume combed ring-spun cotton and poly fleece blend, the 6.5 oz weight makes it comfortable in any season without ever feeling bulky. The regular unisex fit and side-seamed build keep it looking solid, even when you’ve clearly been wearing it way more than socially acceptable. This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
Return & Refund Policy
If you buy this, you own it bro, we ain't giving you your money back, you're assed out!
Hard Returns & Exchanges
We'll just ignore your emails
Zero Customer Care (basically...Fudge you!)
Oh, you think we're joking? your ignorance just made our day! 😈
Shipping Info
We will say this really freaking simple, because you're really freaking stupid; Asking “Where’s my sweater?” every 12 minutes will not make the truck drive faster.
The driver does not feel your anxiety.
The box does not hear your cries.
It will get there when it gets there.
So, sit down, drink some water, and let the hoodie complete its heroic journey to your doorstep like the legend it is.
